I was reading Luke 15: 11 - 32 and I had to pray for God to give me fresh eyes. The "prodigal son" is such a familiar story to me that I wanted to make sure to really read it and not just scan over the words.

Father, thank you for reminding me this morning that you will always welcome me back with open arms. Even when I squander my inheritance on worthless living. Even when I am no longer worthy to be called your daughter. Your truth and love bring me to life!! Your love never fails.

How often do I react like the older son when God celebrates the return of one of His children? I react with jealousy, anger, wondering why God would take them back, judging. . .

Change my heart, O God, make it ever new. Change my heart, O God, may I be like You. . .Slow to anger, quick to forgive.

Blake has been leading our team every Tuesday morning in an Inductive Bible Study of the book of James. We started this study 3 months ago and wow, have I learned a lot!! I think everyone on our team is just amazed at how much God is teaching us through picking apart the book of James. We have almost memorized all of chapter one and today we did a very fun and rewarding activity called cross referencing. In the states, we are blessed to have so many books, studies, and mature christian brothers and sisters to help us understand the scripture. Here we have to rely on scripture to interpret scripture. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be, but to be honest, I am lost with out my resource books.

Today we learned how to take a verse from James and use other verses in the Bible to help make that verse more clear. My first thought was, "I can't do this without my concordance." Thank goodness God proved me wrong.

If you'd like to do this fun activity, here's some verses that will get you started:
For James 1: 2 - 4 = God lead our team to Romans 5: 3-5, 1 Peter 1: 6 - 9, 1 Peter 4: 12 - 13
For James 1: 5 - 8 = God lead our team to James 1: 2 - 4, Romans 11:33-36, Daniel 2: 20 - 23, Job 12: 13, 16, Isaiah 9:6, Hebrews 11: 1, 6

The group discussion lasted way into our lunch time. Praise God that he is working in the hearts and lives of our community development team!!

R.E.S.T. is the name of a ladies retreat I was so blessed in attending Friday - Sunday. It has been the first time in 8 months that I have experienced worship and teaching in English like I grew up with in the states. I can't even begin to explain or describe the impact that had on me.

I wanted to share just a very small word with you about what God taught me. Judges 6 - 7 talks about Gideon's incredible victory against all odds. It's worth reading! The victory that took place with only 300 men, was a sign of God's greatness! And the fact that he chose to call Gideon out for the task is a sign of God's greatness. In my life, I'm currently in a place where I need to know God's greatness! And I found it in Isaiah 9: 2 - 7. "The day of Midian" was in my life when I accepted Jesus as my saviour. He is my "Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace." He is BIG and he is GREAT and more than anything else in the world I needed to know that!

I was asked 2 questions: What is the overwhelming challenge that faces me in my current assignment? Soon after Gideon accepted his assignment, the Lord "sifted" him. How is God "sifting" me?

And I realized that God was sifting me by taking away everything I've ever thought I needed in order to be able to grow as a Christian. Close girlfriends, other mom's, everyday comforts, language and the ability to communicate my needs to any one but God, worship in a church setting in a language that communicates to my heart, Bible studies in a language that helps me grow, etc. Not that these things in themselves are ever wrong or bad, but I can see how I used them in order to be spoon feed instead of relying only on God and His word. So, I came to a point of crisis in my life. I realized that I didn't know how to grow with just me and a Bible. I didn't trust God enough to work in my life without some type of Bible study or one of my girlfriends to talk things over with or community praise and worship to set the mood and get my heart prepared. So, I began to sink in unbelief.

So, I saw myself in the life of Gideon. As God slowly called away more and more of the men, Gideon began to question God's Sovereignty and Sanity : ) I find myself asking God "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" But even with all the questions, Gideon was obedient to follow God's plan.

I know my "Day of Midian" is coming when I will come through victorious and all though all is stripped away, I have made a commitment to obey Him and come to Him with praise and worship! Glory to His name. He is GREAT!

Today was a special day as everyone on the team woke up this morning in great expectation to meet with the Lord. We spent the whole morning not talking to anyone but the Lord. For the singles on the team, this was a little easier, but with some work, us married folks were able to do it too. Blake and I went back to the waterfall we visited a few weeks ago and wondered around for hours without even seeing each other. Then we met back up and hiked a ways up the river and yes all the time without talking : )

This was such a special morning for me because moms don't get much alone time and sometime when I wake up in the morning I'm just not awake enough to really go into a deep Bible study nor do I have that much time. So today I was ready for this!!

I was doing a 12 week Bible study that kind of got extended into 7 months, but today I was going to finish the last lesson. And having what seemed to me to be unlimited time before me (all morning alone) I had great expectations!

God was so gracious and encouraging. He filled my soul and spoke to me from Psalms 63 in a very personal way. First we got sin out of the way. I've wanted to have times like this (once a month) every since we moved here, but I got caught up in life and forgot about this very important commitment I had made. So, I won't be forgetting that again!

Here's a quick overview of my time with the Lord and the lessons He taught me. Everyday can be a victorious day!
Verse 1 - Seek God first thing in the morning. A prayer acknowledging His as Lord in my life. Choosing this day to serve Him! Because when I don't choose Him, my will automatically takes over.

Verse 2 - Ask that my spiritual eyes will be open so that I will see His strength and glory throughout the day, even in the small things.

Verse 3 - 4 - Use my lips to praise Him. But how? Then it came to me that I don't listen to music as often as I used to and I don't even hear worship music (that I understand) on Sundays. So I need to be more proactive in making sure there is Christian music playing around me as much as possible. I miss the presence of music in my life and it has had an affect on my thoughts and praise level.

Verse 5 - Be satisfied!! Simple to say yet difficult to put into practice and I need to reminded a lot!!

Verse 6 - End my day by remembering all God has done for me throughout the day. Journal and Thank Him! I know some days I just fall exhausted into bed and don't even offer up a short prayer of thanks or acknowledge what good things He has done for me.

Verses 7 - 11 - Live a life without fear or worry. God will take care of any wrong that is done against me. He is my help! His right hand holds on to me. LIve a life of peace and rest: I can rejoice in the shadow of your wings!

One of the things we love about working with the company we do is our godly leadership! Here is what was shared with us this month and we thought it was very powerful:

 As a lover of history, I was excited. . . first time to set foot on the continent of Europe and the first time to walk a biblical site.    
 
Istanbul is one of the few cities in the world that I have long wanted to see.  Before it fell to Turkish Muslims around 600 years ago, it had been the greatest city in Christendom for 1000 years.   The Aya Sofya, or Church of Divine Wisdom, was probably the largest and most beautiful building in the world.  It is still breathtaking after 1500 years.   We went below ground to see an amazing marvel of engineering - one of the cisterns that are 1500 years old that can hold millions of gallons of water to supply the city during drought or siege.  Anne loved walking through the Grand Bazaar with its 4600 shops, probably the inspiration for indoor malls.  She did not buy a single thing, perhaps due to prices rather than lack of interest.   Our hotel was just a few hundred yards from the old church where the Council of Chalcedon met about 1600 years ago to confirm that Jesus was fully human and fully divine.  
 
Ephesus is the best preserved city in the eastern Mediterranean.  We walked around a city where Paul planted churches for 3 years.  We stood in the theater where Paul wanted to address the crowd, but his friends prevented it.   The theater is still in good shape and seats 25,000 people.   One can imagine Paul’s desire to proclaim Jesus to that throng, but the crowd was too frenzied to hear him.  The city is generally recognized as the home and resting place of the Apostle John.   The city dried up in later centuries due to the harbor silting up; it now sits 6 miles from the sea.   What a reminder that time marches on and things change…but the good news of Jesus continues to spread and change lives.  
 
Such a visit causes some reflection since this once great Christian area is now decidedly Muslim.   Constantinople and the Byzantine Empire were partially overrun, then weakened, and finally overcome by Muslim armies over 700 years.  When you read the history, however, you see a picture of moral decadence, political intrigue, and nominal faith that led to an internal meltdown.   The Eastern Orthodox church tied its mission to its political influence.   Their approach to evangelism is still largely based on attracting people to participate in worship, which they believe results in a mystical union with God.  This approach did result in Christianity spreading among the Russians and even the Vikings.  These more primitive peoples were awed by the beauty of worship in great churches like the Aya Sofya.   However, in much of the Byzantine Empire the common people who lived far from the great cathedrals had little understanding of the gospel and looked upon the Christian elite as oppressors.  It is sad that the gospel had such little impact on the common people where Christianity was tied to such political, military, and cultural power.  Perhaps it was too closely tied to the politics and economics of the urban elite who were inadequately changed by the grace proclaimed in their midst.   If only Byzantine Christianity had been more closely associated with the spiritual power to transform lives rather than the political power of an empire!
 
My reflection about power and Christianity is not just relevant to the world 500 or 1500 years ago.  We are in an era of history that is post-colonial.  From 1492-1942 much of the world was colonized by Western “Christian” powers.  In Catholic lands, like the Philippines, colonialism and conversion went hand in hand.  In Protestant colonies, colonialism and Christian witness were often antagonistic, such as in Indonesia and Malaysia.  It appears that Protestants were more motivated by trade than faith.   In the end, missionaries followed the trade routes and brought the gospel.  Many assumed they had to make Englishmen or Dutchmen of the locals before they came to Christ.  Whether intentional or not, Christianity did follow colonial power.   The positive side is that the church was established around the globe, but the negative side is that in some parts of the world, the church is still considered a left-over of colonial control.
 
Today we are facing a time of continued decline of Western power.   “M” visas, common in the colonial era, are becoming more and more rare.   The West, including America, is no longer the overwhelming power in the world.   Even the “soft” power of American culture is identified with MTV instead of Christian values such as honesty, humility, and justice.   The dollar has lost buying power that it may never recover.  To be American may become even more problematic or at least less advantageous in the years ahead.  
 
Although it may make our personal lives less comfortable, is this loss of power necessarily detrimental to God’s purpose of redeeming a people from every nation?  
- Not if it means we come in humility and meekness, instead of pride and prejudice. 
 
- Not if it means our lifestyles and relationships are closer to the people we come to reach. 
 
- Not if it means a separation of the message of Christ from Western cultural baggage. 
 
- Not if our willingness to sacrifice and even suffer draw attention to our gospel.
 
- Not if it means we plant churches that are biblically sound and culturally appropriate rather than just poor replicas of a Western denomination. 
 
- Not if it means we live more dependent on the power of the Holy Spirit rather than any earthly power. 
 
In Zechariah 4, God warned that men often miss what He is up to.   We should look for his hand to work in ways that are different from the ways of men.  “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit.” declares the Lord of Hosts.   We should not despise the days of small beginnings that the world likely overlooks.   Across PacRim small beginnings are happening among people groups that have never had them before.   Let us be people who trust God and walk in his power.
 

I've been doing a study on the Greek word praotes. It means "gentleness." Gentleness is definitely an area God has been working on in my life. So I was a little scared to go too deep with at first. I was thinking it was going to be the same thing as praying for patience - we all know better than to do that : ) So, what I've started to lean is that this little 6 letter word is not so simple. Just listen to this definition: " Primarily it doesn't denote outward expression of feeling, but an inward grace of the soul, calmness toward God in particular. It is the acceptance of God's dealings with us considering them as good in that they enhance the closeness of our relationship with Him."

And then if that's not mind blowing enough, the definition goes on to say: "Praotes encompasses expressing wrath toward the sin of man as demonstrated by the Lord Jesus. . .This meekness does not blame God for the persecutions and evil doings of man. It is not the result of weakness. . .but the activity of the blessedness that exists in one's heart from being actively angry at evil. . .That virtue that stands between two extremes, uncontrollable and unjustified anger, and not becoming angry at all no matter what takes place around you."

So, basically it means stop fighting God. And how do I stop fighting God. Well, submit (Jeremiah 26:14, Acts 14:22, John 16:33) even when I know in advance it will cause suffering , humble myself (Titus 3:1-2, Phillppians 2:3) not only before Him but others as well , have a teachable spirit (James 1:21, Psalms 119: 71-72) to whatever He wants to teach me and then teach others (2 Timothy 2:24 - 26). "It's just impossible," I thought. But I can't just give up on it. To think of not having gentleness. . .well that's just plain ugly. So, after some serious one on one time with the Lord I decided I had no other choice but to seek after gentleness and boy has my life been filled with opportunities to practice it!!. .. so it IS like praying for patience : )

I've been on this one word all month so to say it all would take a looong time and I know that only my mom would want to read all that : ) I want to be like Jesus, I want to be a gentle giant, the calmness in the storm.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? I choose to put my hope in You, O God, for I will yet praise You, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I remember You! (Ps. 42: 5-6) In all my distress, You too are distressed, and the angel of Your presence saves me. In Your love and mercy You redeem me. You lift me up and carry me as You have done for Your children through all the days of old. (Isa 45:3) Lord, help me not to fear, for You are with me; I need not be dismayed, for You are my God. You will strengthen me and help me. You will uphold me with Your righteous right hand. (Isa. 41:10)

I love the way God meets us right where we are!! When I was a journeyman, my motto was "fear not." That motto got me places. It got me out of the bed and out of my room when I wanted to hide and not face another person that didn't speak English. it got me on the plane over and over again and into a country torn apart by war and oppression. It got food into my stomach. It flooded my head and heart with scripture verses, promises, and comfort. Well, He's reminding me of that again. Except this time, it's not just about me. It's about a family.

I can get so uptight about stuff and boy does Satan know it!! My "Fear Not" verses remind me to let go and let God. So what Aleah just ate out of the trash can. So what as soon as I dust and mop the house, it's dusty and needs mopping again. So what Aleah just threw my tennis shoes into the mop water. So what everyone is staring at me. So what I can see through the walls and ceiling of my house. So what. .. So what. . .So what. . .You've got your list too. It takes the joy out of us. Pretty soon we go days without laughing. We only see the negative in everything and Satan begins to get a foothold.

And so, I reminded once again, to Fear Not. . . let go .. let God. . .and live.



Aleah has a sneaky little habit of getting out of the house and running straight for the dirt and rocks. . .

We've been our new home for about 2 weeks now. It has been wonderful and hard at the same time. I've been exhausted and tired and irritable. I've been happy and delighted and awed. I know it's my body, mind, and soul trying to wrap it's self around a new culture. Sometimes I feel so defeated. Then I settle down for a quick night scripture reading and God tells me: Merciful and faithful Lord, because of Your great love I am not consumed, for Your compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait on him." Lord, You are good to those whose hope is in You, to the one who seeks You (Lam. 3:22-25). Surely You, Jesus, took up my infirmities and carried my sorrows, yet we considered You stricken by God, smitten by Him and afflicted. But You were pierced for my transgressions; You were crushed for my iniquities; the punishment that brought me peace was upon You, and by Your wounds, Lord Jesus, I am healed (Isa. 53:4-5).

These are verses that I have grown up hearing, but never until know have they been packed with so much healing!! Now I have to say that I don't want to merely listen to the Word and so deceive myself, but I want to claim it and believe it and live it. Help me, Father, to do what it says (James 1:22).

I needed to share this with you. It's not always fun admitting weakness and emotional breakdowns, but I want you to know that I'm human and God can still use me : ) He can use you too!! I hope you are encouraged.

God is to be praised because His Word is true and His Word changes lives. Here is a picture of 5 Mien villagers who were recently baptized. Lek and his son are standing with them. Lek and others have been ministering in this village for over 7 years. Now we are seeing a harvest!! Rejoice in the Lord!

Well, last week we attended a retreat with our team in Chiang Rai. It was great to get to spend so much time with the people that we are going to . . .spend so much time with the next few years. The nationals here are very reserved and take a while to get to know, so I think the almost week that we spent at the retreat will go a long way towards furthering our relationships with them. It gave us all a chance to see each other in action, with our families, and in worship and prayer. . .etc. The Father is so good, and we are so excited to get to work with these nationals, and see what the Father is going to do through them, among His people.

It is interesting, the more I think about how we are supposed to be working ourselves out of a job here. I have begun feeling a little insufficient for the task. I feel as though I am not the most efficient tool that God could use here to reach these people of a different language and a different culture. That is why I am thinking we are so blessed to have a small base of people here who are already believers. This small group of nationals are the best tools the God can use to spread His word among the unreached peoples here.

Just for fun I thought I would include some note that I took at the retreat. You will have to forgive the sporadic nature of them. You see, the whole retreat was carried out in Thai. Us white folks are the minority on our team, and rightly so. So take a look at the notes if you have a second and you can get a glimpse of some nuggets I picked up during some of the translation. Here they are: